If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
