Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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