Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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