I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
