She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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