he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
