ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
