after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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