why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
