after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
accomplished twins. life is a go
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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