It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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