How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize