Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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