They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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