New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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