My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
