Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think my vagina is haunted
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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