Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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