why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
