Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
