Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
