So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
