I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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