What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
