I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
