oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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