you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
