Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
