Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
