he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
