It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
