I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
