your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
