this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
