State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize