I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
