"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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