She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
