I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
