Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize