I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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