1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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