I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
