The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
