The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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