Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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