I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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