just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
