I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
