You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
