So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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