i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
