let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
