absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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