garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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