Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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