this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
