Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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