so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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