i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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