How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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