well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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