I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
God gave him joint rollers for hands
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
