Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
