I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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